WORSHIP THE BEAVER!

We gather here today to worship our leader; the illustrious Norbert Foster Beaver.
We love him, we honour him, we speak his name with pride and passion. We hear it and shudder at its glory and power. Feel the presence of a supernatural being, standing before us eyes gleeming, smiling knowingly that we tremble before him. He owns us, and he will crush us if we do not obey. Sacrifice yourself, give into his enticing power and be one with the beaver.

If you cannot lay in the darkness at night without this face invading your thoughts you're not alone. His charisma has also enslaved me, the charming warmth of his fixed gase peering at me from beyond the paper in which he resides. I utter his name silently under my breath as I close my eyes envisioning him reaching for me with his cold paws, to pull me into his world behind the tattered picture of his face lying next to me.

Waking early to the tinny sound of my clock radio, cold from lack of covers I turn on the light and silence the wailing of the 1950's singer. I cannot help but look up at Norberts face on the wall, smiling and looking into space. I sigh at the hoplessness of our make-believe relationship and get ready for work.

"Welcome to schneider customer care, please hold and one of our sales representatives will be with you shortly...
At work, on the phone leaning on the counter listening to another machine, customer standing impatiantly waiting for me I slowly draw bluse lines on the pad forming Norberts face. He's still smiling at me- Welcome to schneider how can I help you? -I snap out of it.

Turning the key and opening the door, I rush to disarm my alarm before it attempts to ruin my hearing further more. I look up and greet the beaver that I worship, he continues to look into space smiling, just as I painted him. The control he exerts over me I return by controling him on paper and canvas. Flopping down on the couch I reach for the lifeless surrogate body I created of Norbert Beaver that lay next to me and close my eyes as I clasp his body tightly to mine, and whisper how much I'm glad to be back home to worship him the way I know best.